Want to Vote by Mail in the New Brunswick Snap Election? Good Luck With That

I'm SO angry at Elections NB. Allegedly, if we don't want to endanger ourselves by voting in person, we can apply for a mail-in ballot. That's the theory. The reality is, good luck figuring out how to do that.

At least they have a "Vote by Mail" link right on the home page, not that it's as obvious as it should be. It's in the lower-right corner, under "Quick Links." Or at least, it was. Right now, it seems to have disappeared. I am serious. Fortunately, I've linked to it. So click here, and you get instructions that tell you that you can make that application "once the returning offices have opened."

Have the returning offices opened? Who the fuck knows? It would be helpful if you could click on that part of the instructions and be taken to a page that tells you all about the returning offices, but no. It looks like a link, but it's just underlined.

There is at least a link directly to the Application for a Special Ballot (yes, that's the same as a mail-in ballot, not that Elections NB can be bothered to make that clear). Clicking that link allows you to download the form. Despite the special circumstances (unnecessary election during a pandemic and all that), it's the same old form, featuring Section 7 in which you fill in your reason for wanting to vote by mail, either:

1. "my own illness or incapacity, or
2. responsibility to care for another person unable to go the polls."

Really, those are the only reasons? No "I don't want to catch COVID-19 and die"? One would hope the form would at least have something for immuno-compromised people, who are most at risk of severe illness and death. It doesn't.

Well, you can still fill it in, leave Section 7 blank, and hope for the best, right? Except that you then have to figure out where to send it. According to the instructions, you need to mail it to your returning office. You know, that thing that may or may not be open.

I did a search, and it turns out they are open, hallelujah. That's according to this News Release, which is very short, and concludes with, "The locations of each returning office and its hours of operation are posted on the Elections NB website." With a link. Wouldn't it be great if that link took you directly to the page about the returning offices? Ha ha, of course it doesn't. That would be too easy. It just takes you to the Elections NB landing page.

Fortunately, there is a link for that on the home page, although again, not as easy to find as it should be. It's in the upper-right corner, under "General." Or it was. Now it's not, because apparently they redid this page while I was working on this post, with the express purpose of making it worse. Again fortunately for you, I'm linking to it here: Returning Offices. And I literally had to look through my browser history to find it again. You're welcome. So now, all you have to do is click on that link, look up your riding in the list, and there's your returning office and its address. You're good to go.

Oh wait, you don't know what your riding is? Oh honey, you're fucked.

Just kidding, it's OK. All you have to do is go back to the home page, yet again, and click on Provincial Electoral Districts (Maps). Unless, of course, that link has also disappeared. Again, I am NOT EVEN JOKING about this. I wish I was. So for the third time, click here.

If you're lucky, you can maybe figure it out from the crappy, not-very-detailed map image on this page. Or you can check out the slightly-more-detailed-but-still-totally-unhelpful PDF. Or if you can guess which is your riding, you can click on that link and get a map of the riding and try to find your street on there. Or maybe you should just call the toll-free number: 1-888-858-8683. That's probably the best option. Let the lazy buggers do some work for a change.

New Brunswick has one of the lowest literacy rates in the country. How many people will have the ability to go through this process, never mind the patience or the research skills? How about people who live in rural areas and don't have good internet connections? How many people will just give up and go to the polling place in person, or just not vote at all? I expect this election to have very low turnout.

Now, if Chief Electoral Officer Kimberly Poffenroth and Assistant Chief Electoral Officer David Owens had had any real interest in keeping people safe, here's what the would have done.

1. They would have put a big Vote by Mail link, preferably with an image (like the one above that I stole from Elections Canada), right in the middle of the home page. Click on that, and you get taken to...
2. A form that you can mail in to ONE CENTRAL ADDRESS. Once the form arrived there, nice people would check your address and postal code, find your riding based on that, and forward it to the correct returning office.

Here's the crazy thing: they actually do have two big images in a slideshow, right in the middle of the page. But they're useless. One of them says, "VOTE NB 2020." The other says, "Covid-19 [sic] & Voting." Neither of them link to anything.

Anyway, all that is what they would have done, if they had any genuine interest ensuring that every single adult New Brunswicker is able to vote in safety. But they didn't, because they don't care.

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Update (Aug. 26): Great news! You can, in fact, vote by mail for any reason. If neither of the reasons in Section 7 of the form apply to you, just leave that part blank.

It took me two phone calls to discover this. First I called the toll-free number and left a message, but the person who called back several hours later had "no idea." I had to call the returning office for an answer to this question, she said. I asked her for the phone number for my returning office, and it took her quite some time to find it. First she gave me the wrong one. I asked her if she was looking up the information on the website. When she said no, I assumed she had some other computer system, perhaps a slow and glitchy one, until she added, "I have a pile of paper!"

That's the state-of-the-art system that Elections NB is equipping their employees with. You heard it here first.

Also, I just found out that Elections NB has a form that lets you find your electoral district by entering your address. Much better than trying to figure it out from the maps. Why they don't link to this from the home page, I can't imagine.